How To Party When The World Is On Fire

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Hello friends.

The baldening. Photo: Alisha Richards

Well, it’s the Fourth of July. I’m not exactly feeling like fireworks this year, I’m not gonna lie. Although I will mark the day, as I do most years, by reading Frederick Douglass’ ever-relevant piece of oratory, “What, To The Slave, Is The Fourth Of July?”

Speaking of celebrations in hard times, on June 29 my husband turned 50.

What I deal with in this newsletter is, largely, how to cope and even thrive while also remaining aware of and, ideally, engaged in mitigating, the many, many terrible things going on in the world.

Sometimes that looks like taking a break and leaving it all behind. Totally valid strategy! We all need it.

But for my husband's big milestone he wanted to try something different. He's in a time of transition, personally and professionally, and so is the world, very very much so.

So we threw a party, with a fancy cheese plate, a signature cocktail (El Perfecto, tequila pineapple, which we “invented” on the beach in Mexico circa 2001) and our friend Greg on the decks. My husband is blessed with many friends of decades standing, and they came from far and wide.

And before the dancing started, we invited 3 friends who are doing amazing things in the world to talk for a few minutes.

Greg Kieser (different Greg) was our host for the night. He runs Reforesters Laboratory, a cafe/store/event space in Brooklyn, and Reforesters Farm, a 400 acre agroforestry farm upstate. He talked about reclaiming old dairy land and making a food system that stores carbon and builds soil and biodiversity.

Margaret Klein Salamon is the executive director of Climate Emergency Fund, which funds some of the most disruptive and attention grabbing climate activism in the world. You can hear more of her journey here.

And Diana Adams, my friend since college, came straight from tabling at Pride. They are the executive director of Chosen Family Law Center, which advocates for LGBTQ+ families of all kinds, and just helped craft NYC legislation that is among the most protective in the country for trans and gender nonconforming people.

Each of them talked for a few minutes about their own paths, what their organization does, and ways to get involved, by lending your time, skills and of course, money.

I will add that one thing I've found is that small donations can be surprisingly impactful for small orgs, especially when they're monthly.

Then I challenged the crowd to talk amongst themselves for a few minutes about 1) What's pissing them off right now, 2) What they're good at, and 3) One thing they can do to help this week.

One friend said she was going to reach out to The Free Black Women’s Library

about getting involved in literacy programs.

Another, a scientist, was banding together with others to write letters to the editor of their hometown paper to raise awareness around the country about cuts to science funding.

Finally I told everybody: in 5 years, I'm going to be 50. Have a conversation with someone about what the world will look like in 5 years if we give it everything we've got.

The whole thing took maybe 20-30 minutes of a five hour party. I loved hearing the room buzzing. And the mood afterwards was incredible. Possibly because my man capped it all off by having his friends line up to shave his head. His hairline had been migrating for awhile, and he decided to call it. Jason Statham vibes.

I have friends and acquaintances who can't deal with politics because they have too much going on in their lives, because it upsets them too much, or because they don't self-identify as activists. They won't show up to a march or a Zoom phonebank or a fundraiser — I know, because I've tried.

But blending a low-stakes conversation like this into a party felt different. Hopefully more inviting, and a way to activate our existing communities and networks for people, whether they already know each other or are just meeting, to start some new, meaningful conversations.

Things are accelerating. The MAGA murder bill that just passed, alongside its devastating cuts to health care and food assistance, contains expanded funding for “immigration enforcement” equal to that of the US Army, which means a massive scaling up of intimidation, kidnapping, detainment, and disappearance of people is coming. I can hardly believe that—I haven’t integrated that truth—but it is true. And, Americans need an effective mass movement to protect the midterm elections next year. If MAGA succeeds in intimidating and obstructing opposition voters to the point that that election doesn't feel fair or free, that's the true last stop on the road to authoritarianism.

Finally, most people will feel more hopeful and less despairing if they're doing something to help make the world better.

I want to push my existing community to get more involved as well as organize with people who are already activated, because I see so much care, talent, and potential in each of us.

In our house, we’re going to keep working on ways to tag people in and to get even more involved in ways that feel sustainable. Right now I'm thinking about how to add in some direct service work for myself.

What feels achievable for you to take on this week or this summer? Could you maybe open up a conversation like this with a friend?