"We're all feeling this. Everyone has some cry of grief stuck in their throat, or some achy heart, and it's just starting to feel harder and harder to act like that's not the case."
This is great advice, thank you. I grew up half my childhood in the Middle East, and have felt the background drumbeat of my country's forever war for what feels like my whole life. I was pretty good at managing it while my kids were little, but it's been both harder and easier now that I'm parenting an 18 and a 21 year old. Harder in that they can tell when I'm mourning, and they know just how horrible the news is-- sometimes they're encountering it in awful snippets on social media, which is just the worst. Easier in that I can just be honest with how I'm feeling, and it's easier to just say, yeah, this is rough. In their teenage years I felt like I said this a lot: "I'm sorry that this is the world that my generation is passing on to you."
You're so right that community is the only antidote that makes any sense. Community and time in nature.
Tell you what, I think the "survival mode" is key and I'm grateful you focus on it. We don't think long term when we are surviving and often make messes that need attention later. In fact I just apologized for my behavior ten years ago to my oldest son. I overreacted and it continued to bother me. He appreciated my apology and the commitment to pause before reacting next time. This is what I'm hearing in your post. Take a moment. Just a moment. Check in and notice without judgment and then you'll know whether or not your need to say anything. Thank you!
This is great advice, thank you. I grew up half my childhood in the Middle East, and have felt the background drumbeat of my country's forever war for what feels like my whole life. I was pretty good at managing it while my kids were little, but it's been both harder and easier now that I'm parenting an 18 and a 21 year old. Harder in that they can tell when I'm mourning, and they know just how horrible the news is-- sometimes they're encountering it in awful snippets on social media, which is just the worst. Easier in that I can just be honest with how I'm feeling, and it's easier to just say, yeah, this is rough. In their teenage years I felt like I said this a lot: "I'm sorry that this is the world that my generation is passing on to you."
You're so right that community is the only antidote that makes any sense. Community and time in nature.
Yes ! And thank you for the reminder that parenting extends into our children's young adulthood and beyond.
Tell you what, I think the "survival mode" is key and I'm grateful you focus on it. We don't think long term when we are surviving and often make messes that need attention later. In fact I just apologized for my behavior ten years ago to my oldest son. I overreacted and it continued to bother me. He appreciated my apology and the commitment to pause before reacting next time. This is what I'm hearing in your post. Take a moment. Just a moment. Check in and notice without judgment and then you'll know whether or not your need to say anything. Thank you!
https://bandyxlee.substack.com/p/transcript-of-emergency-psychiatric?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1vumjc